Sleep monster

I just can't seem to get enough sleep.

There are so many things [musically] that's I'd like to get done, but sleep seems to have a chain on my neck, pulling me to the pillow... always. It doesn't help that I work a job where I don't get off any earlier than midnight. Then when I get home, it takes forever for my body to wind down before it's ready for rest. And then Dwayne wants to spend time talking with me, and with us being so far away from one another, I really need to make as much time for him as possible. I love his company.

So I normally don't hit the sack until about 1 or 2 a.m. This, in turn, causes me to sleep until about 11 or 12 ish. Today, Dwayne woke me up at 7:30 a.m. I managed to stay awake until about 10:30 a.m. before my body crashed and didn't revive itself until 3:30 p.m. ugh! A whole day wasted on sleep. Geez... something's got to give. And I really had plans on working on some music.

Alright... here's my roster.

1.) "Not What I Feel"... a personal project I'm working on. 90% of the instrumentation is done. I just have to finish that up and then lay the vocals. Lyrics are already complete. I'm looking forward to hearing the end result (beyond what I hear in my head).

2.) "Friend in Me"... WB project. An independent artist is working on an album, and I've been assigned to write & record some vocals. This project is LONG overdue. Ugh.. come on Rohzi.

3.) Erica Cumbo! This is my sis for life. She's a part of the Cajo International fam and has an album coming out. She has welcomed me sending her any tracks I come up with to potentially put on her album. This is a recent project I've decided to undertake. Hopefully, I'll come up with some interesting things and send them her way.

4.) "Rohzi E. Productions".... my business venture. Ha. Been writing out plans for this for over two years now. I think it's time for me to go ahead and get it off the ground. Mostly I need a website and some good marketing. I think I'm ready for it. I'll keep you posted. : - )

Oh, I've decided. I'm going to get my nose pierced. : - ) I've wanted one for the longest, but er uh... didn't have the guts. Now... I have the guts. I'm excited. I just need the money to do it. Stay tuned!

Artist Recognition Time!

Kandi Burress

This chick is like... the bomb.com to me. For more reasons than one. Beyond the fact that she's a GREAT songwriter, she also seems to have a very respectable character. Most of you probably remember her from the multi-platinum R&B girl group, Xscape, but I'm sure many of you keep up with her on Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA). I must admit, she's my fave one out of all of them. She's inspires me. Every time I see her, it reminds me that if I want to be as successful as her, I HAVE to stay on my hustle. I have no idea how I'm going to get there, but watching people like her keep me inspired, most definitely. On top of that, she's a great mother and a loyal friend.

Make sure you guys check out her single "Fly Above." It's available on itunes, and it's a great single!

Okay folks, I'm done for now. On my next entry, I'll try to have a new song posted. I encourage everyone to follow a dream as hard as you can until it comes true. You have to work for what you want. Remember... most things, if anything, hardly ever falls into your lap.

Love, Rohzi

"Jammin' on the one!"

Random thought: I think the word "spam" is one of the ugliest terms. Not necessarily because of its meaning... but just because it doesn't feel good coming out of the mouth. Just try it.

"...spam."

ugh.

Okay, moving along.

So folks, I finally finished "Superstars." I THINK... I've found a way to share my work with you on my blogs, but this is a trial run. I'm hoping it works out for you, but if not, I'm sure one of you will let me know, and I can try something different. Anyway... this song is somewhat "different," I suppose. I love it though. It's a light and bouncy tune, and it brings a genuine smile to my face. This song, whether you believe it or not, is actually one of the closest representations of what my overall musical style is like. If I take away any and all intentions to make a song sound "commercial," and the only thing left is my pure creativity... this is what comes out. Anyway... here goes.

Introducing my latest creative work, Superstars (© 10/2009):

I hope you enjoy it. We all have a superstar in our lives, even if he/she is fictional. : - )

In other news, I forgot to mention that my parents finally spoke to Dwayne for the first time! It happened back when I went home for a visit, but I forgot to mention it then. Anyway, it went very well. I think it really eased my parents' minds just to hear an actual voice behind the man I've been ranting and raving about for the longest. My mother completely tickled him by attempting to speak a phrase in Patoise (Jamaican dialect). A while back, I taught her how to say, "I am going to eat some food" in Patoise. The phrase is:

"Mi a go nyam some food."

My mother gets on the phone with Dwayne, and the conversation is as follows (only from my mother's end - couldn't hear Dwayne's responses, of course):

"Hey Dwayne!"

[dwayne speaks...]

"Oh!... you really DO have a thick accent!"

[Dwayne speaks...]

"I'm doing alright! How are you?"

[Dwayne speaks...]

"Oh, that's good! Umm.... I... am... going to.... YAM SOME FOOD!"

[I KNOW Dwayne is dying laughing...]

[Mother is laughing hysterically]

[I am red in the face with embarrassment.]

[Dwayne speaks...]

"Oh, I almost got it huh?... OH! Mi a go nyam some food!"

[Dwayne speaks...]

"Well... it's nice to know you're a real person!"

[I am further embarrassed...]

"You be sweet to my daughter, okay?"

[Burying myself into a hole...]

[Dwayne speaks....]

"Well that's good... talk to you again!"

[end convo...]

* sigh * I loved my mother's enthusiasm, I'll say that much. She was very nice and cheery. My dad on the other hand... I won't even reenact that, lol. In short, he didn't sound nearly as enthusiastic to talk with Dwayne, and he asked him a trial of questions like where he works and what he studied in school. And then he ended the conversation with:

"Well... my daughter asked me not to badger you, so I won't... this time."

lol... gotta love dads.

But it feels good that my parents have spoken with him now. I feel like it has added a new dynamic to our relationship. Now Dwayne is prying me to talk to HIS mom and dad, but I am not at all ready for that feat. I mean... Dwayne showed no fear with regard to talk to my parents, but... I don't have the same courage. And what if I can't understand them? There are still times when I have to ask Dwayne to slow down when he's talking to me, so I'm sure I won't understand a word his parents are saying. Good Lord. I'm terrified. lol

In other news, my JOB IS DRIVING ME NUTS. I swear the devil set up attacks left and right for me at work. I won't even go into detail, but God... you know I am trying to take everything in stride and pass every test... is it not time for my reward? DELIVER ME FROM THIS JOB!

Ummm, what else? What else? What else? Oh yeah, the new project I'm currently working on is a song [tentatively] called, "Not What I Feel." Once again, I'm taking an all-natural approach to this and not trying to place any commercial value into it. Lately, I've just been in the mood to write from the heart without installing any other considerations. Gotta be just me for a minute. Been going crazy lately. I need some sanity.

Okay, artist recognition time! : - )

ADELE

This woman's voice is like butter on a warm biscuit. I LOVE it. And her songs are so decent and easy to relate to. One of the things I love about her is she doesn't fit the stereotype of what a celebrity singer should look like. But she's still beautiful. She has a natural beauty. But above all, her voice is amazing to me. It's not altered by studio tricks, and it sounds free and natural. Those types of voices are always the best in a recording, in my opinion.

Alright. That's all folks. Stay tuned for my next song... feel free to leave a comment or send a person email about what you thought of Superstars. Hey, even if you hated it, an opinion is an opinion, right? Won't change the fact that I love it, lol.

Cheers.

Love, Rohzi

It would suffice to say...

I had a great weekend.

Going back home for a visit always causes me to experience an array of emotions: glee, bliss, belonging, somberness, wistfulness, slight remorse, and saddening retrospect. Every time I go home, I get to embrace everything I love and miss but not without having to allow my mind to skim across all the memories that have pained me. Sometimes I get annoyed at the fact that coming home involves the bitter along with sweet. But I have to hope that someday, I will be in a mental and emotional place where there is no more bitter, and I can only taste the sweet.

I keep searching for an outlet. Sometimes, my mind theorizes that if I can just write that ONE song to release it all... or that ONE poem... or that ONE book... just to get it all out of my system instead of having it slowly seep through my pores over the time span of several years... then I would be okay... but... I think perhaps I'm kidding myself. Time heals all wounds. So time is just what it's going to have to take. Can't rush through it, no matter how hard I try. Considering the damage I've undergone, I suppose I'm a lot further progressed than I ever dreamed.

Damage, smamage... who hasn't undergone damage to a certain extent? We're all on the same big boat, I suppose. Who am I to think I should be exempt?

Anyway, I won't go into detail about

my weekend. Just look at the pictures and depict your own tale. All in all, it was a fun time. I have a very LARGE and blessed family. Despite our misfortunes, as every family has them, I would not trade whose family I belong to for the world. I am in this family for a reason.

In other news...

Random life update: It's October, as you know. Once November hits, I will be able to register for classes, and I can't WAIT to ride on the high I anticipate getting from that. The time is almost here: Spring Semester. I am so ready to jump back on the horse. Better late than never, people like to say. As much as I have delved into audio engineering, I still feel like there's so much about it that is simply not sticking in my head. Perhaps pursing this degree will finally cement things for me. That audio engineering program I completed earlier this year was honestly too fast. I wish I had spoken with someone who had actually gone through it before. Had I done so, I probably would have declined going. It was just too fast paced for anything to stick. I'm not implying that I learned NOTHING during that time, but of what I did learn, only about 10% is actually committed to memory.

So, I'm really trying to step it up with my involvement with Writer's Block. You know... the music production team I'm a part of. I really think there's a lot of potential for exposure with this thing, and I am not taking advantage of what I have access to.

Lately... I have been a TOTAL BUM.

When I tell you that I have been doing nothing but putting my horizontal weight on this bed of mine... I mean just that. Ever since I got back home from Arkansas on Monday, I have been a total bump on a log. No getting up. No dressing. No brushing hair. Hardly any eating. No writing. No singing.

No nothing.

I have just been laying in the bed until it's time for me to go to work. I know, right. Pathetic. I think that trip home wore me out more than I'm willing to admit. Not just physically but emotionally. I think it's taking me longer than it should to recover. Today, however, I'm proud to say that I did quite a bit of cleaning and tomorrow I will be cooking and recording a song for Writer's Block (I shall henceforth be referring to "Writer's Block" as "WB," because I don't wanna spell is out anymore). So yeah... I'll keep you posted. I still haven't forgotten about "Superstars." It has just sort of taken a backseat to another project I've recently been presented with by the head of WB. I'm still trying to figure out how to get my music posted on this blog. If you figure it out, let me know.

Okay, that's all folks. I'm done airing my thoughts. Be well. Until next time...

Love, Rohzi

October already?

So, some days I think this year is going by UBBER-SLOW. And other days, I think to myself, "Wow, it's already October?"

I don't know how to feel.

I'm at work right now, thinking about this six-hour drive to Arkansas I will be taking immediately after I leave my shift at MIDNIGHT. Ugh. Guess I better buy a six-hour energy shot and get to truckin' it. I have mixed feelings about coming home. Unfortunately, for reasons left unsaid, coming back home will probably never be 100% comfortable for me. But I always LOVE seeing my mother and father (and a few select cousins). So, it'll be worth it. I'm taking London with me. My cat is my bothersome companion, but a companion nonetheless. And when it's all said and done, he loves the heck out of me. He always wants to cuddle up next to me and bury his face into my chest when I'm laying down. He likes to sleep close enough to me where he can hear me breathing and I can feel him vibrating against me with his monstrous purr (you know Maine Coons are larger than life). But he can be SOOO annoying on most occasions. And he sheds like nobody's business. That's partially my fault since I never brush him. But I never feel like fighting with him to be still and refrain from clawing me to death. When I start running the brush through his fur, for some reason, he thinks it's a game and wants to play... with his claws.

No.

Here's a pic of Dwayne. I took this picture with my iphone. That's him on my computer screen. We were video chatting together. Doesn't he have the cutest smile? : - ) Today, when we talked on the phone, I asked him the usual, "How was your day?" And he said it was alright and gave me a casual rundown of his day's activities. The thing that was funniest to me was when he told me he took a shower...

...in his backyard... naked...

....in the rain.

lol. Gotta love him. He just grabbed his bar of soap and a towel and went at it right in his backyard. He claims that the two of us will do that together if it happens to be raining when I come to visit him in Jamaica, and I just laughed. I can't imagine doing such a thing, but I'll admit that the idea of it seems like a lot of fun. : - )

I'll have some pictures posted up of my visit to Arkansas upon my return, so stay tuned for that. I intend to have Dwayne talk to my parents for the first time once I make it into Arkansas. Dwayne seems to have no fears about it, which is surprising. I am deathly afraid of talking to either one of his parents, lol. But he promises me that both his parents will love me (even though I have no idea how he could PROMISE me how someone ELSE will feel about me, lol).

Okay... artist recognition time:

WHITNEY HOUSTON

Okay, so she recently came out with a new album, her first one in years. It's been getting rave views. The songs take us through the joys and struggles of her life, and everyone is glad that she has finally made a comeback. I think she came back a much stronger and wiser woman. I'm proud of her. She dealt with a lot of bashing because of her erratic behavior and drug use, but despite it all, she is loved and respected for her ability to come back bolder and more beautiful. Granted, she doesn't quite have the voice she used to have, but we all enjoy her nonetheless.

WHITNEY HOUSTON SINGING "DIDN'T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH" LIVE ON OPRAH:

Still haven't finished recording 'Superstars.' I know I'm slacking. I've been productive though... just on other things. Gotta make time for everything, ya know? I have other artistic projects I've been setting time aside for. I MAY fill you in later... in life... lol.

But in other news, and then I'm done. MY JOB IS ACTING SO BOGUS WITH ME RIGHT NOW. This is the second time I've gotten screwed over by this company, and I swear as soon as I find something that pays more or even the SAME amount as what I'm making now, I AM BREAKING CAMP. This is just ridiculous. I don't deserve it. I really don't. Earlier this year, I was put on probation over mere accusations, and my boss didn't even BOTHER to ask me if it was true before he put me on probation. And then on Tuesday of this week, he sends me home saying that the background paperwork I filled out BACK IN MARCH when I first got hired was not done correctly or was never processed, and I cannot work again until it is all sorted out.

WTF?!? So... you're just now telling me after working SIX MONTHS for you that my background paperwork has not been processed, and I can't have access to patient files now? Suddenly, because paperwork is not completed, I can't be trusted to do my job?

Wow... okay.

Fortunately for these crazies, I am actually quite a mild-tempered individual. Otherwise, they would have received some harshly choiced words and an abrupt dismissal. Anyway... I just took it all in stride, spent an entire day refilling out paperwork, going to the police station to get fingerprinted all over again, and then faxed it all back... and they STILL wouldn't let me work yesterday. Then TODAY... they wait until 3:35 p.m. to tell me that I can go ahead and go to work at 4:00 p.m.... UGH!

Incompetence.

I'm tired of it, honestly. It shouldn't be this sort of a hassle just to get a paycheck. A MEASLEY ONE at that. But all I can do is thank God for what I do have and just pray that what I don't have will come along later. I have plenty of things to be thankful for, so I will just focus on those things and have faith that better days are coming.

Okay... that's all folks. I'm outta here. I think I'll find something interesting to watch online until my shift is over.

Love, Rohzi

TASTEFUL EXPRESSION: RAYMOND'S DIVORCE

*USHER RAYMOND'S DIVORCE*

Now we all know about R&B phenomenon, Usher Raymond's, divorce from Tameka Foster Raymond. CNN posted an article in mid-June of this year. Of course, no one is all that surprised by this, because industry gurus and fans alike didn't think it was a great pairing to begin with.

Today, Usher released his new single, Papers. This song, of course, allegedly stems from his real-life situation regarding his divorce with Tameka. However Sean Garrett, producer of Usher's hit single, states to MTV, "Let's say I wrote a record for Usher three or four months ago where I really didn't have any idea of what he was going through personally..."

Frankly, I don't care why it was written. All I can say is: THIS TRACK IS HOT. I've always enjoyed Usher's music, but I wouldn't call myself an avid fan. His latest single, however, was actually quite the ear-candy for me upon listening to it. And I also thought it was rather tasteful of him. If this song was indeed written in regards to his divorce, he was very tactful about his feelings regarding it. I always hate it when artists try to bash their ex-significant others in a song. It's so tacky and immature, in my opinion. Papers was a very decent auditory depiction of his feelings. Even if this song was written BEFORE their divorce, even he can't argue that this song really speaks to his situation, which was probably why he chose to make it his first single.

Usher's next album, entitled Monster, is set to be released in December 2009.

Listen: Usher's Latest Single, Papers.

In other news, I've decided on a title for the song lyrics I posted on my last entry. It'll be called Superstars. I started on the actual track last night, and stayed up until 2:00 a.m. sequencing all the parts. I hope to chain it all together and begin laying down vocals as early as tomorrow. I'm trying to find a way to post my work on this blog, but it's turning out to be more difficult of a task than I thought. Well.. I don't think the task is difficult. I simply blame it on my ignorance. I don't want to have to post my work on YouTube just to post it here. And I don't want to pay for podcast hosting either. * shrug * Maybe I just don't want to do what it takes. I suppose I could post it the same way I did Jess' birthday say several blog entries ago. But that was a tedious thing. I don't want video. I just want audio. * sigh * Oh well... I'll figure it out.

Until next time folks.

Love, Rohzi

Inspiration nation

The rain is back. * sigh * Just when I was enjoying the return of sunny weather in Nashville...

As of late, I've been doing well in regards to productivity. I find that writing a to-do list on my giant dry erase board adds the motivation I need to get things done. There's something strangely gratifying about taking a big red dry erase marker and drawing a red check next to an item that needs to be completed.

Anyway, as I stated in my last blog, I want my entries to be a bit more music oriented.... so I want to feature at least one artist and/or song with each blog (We'll see how far I get this routine up).

BRANDY

I've always been a huge fan of Brandy. I have no idea why so many people I've encountered sleep on her like they don't know the business when they see it. Oh well, their loss. I've loved Brandy since her 1995 hit single "Sitting up in my Room" placed on the Waiting to Exhale Soundtrack. Most people didn't realize how great she was then either. Again I say: Oh well. Their loss. Anyway, so being the fan that I am, I follow Brandy on Twitter. She recently informed her followers that she just posted a YouTube video of her singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow" in her bathroom. I remember waking up early the other morning and checking my phone to see her latest Tweet, and naturally, I went to her YouTube video posting.

Can we say.... near-tears? It was soooo amazing. Her voice is from Jupiter, that's all I can say. She can't be from this planet with a voice like that. I must share with you the magic. See video now:

Beautiful. I know.

I would love to meet her someday... heck, I'd love to WORK with her someday. But I know I'm a long way from being "known." But I love creating music too much to give up on that dream. God has a strange way of answering prayers, and I've been praying for musical success for a LONG time. So I'm waiting... trusting... and believing.

So I'm at work right now in study mode. It's pretty slow today at work, so I'm brushing up on my ProTools skills. I know I'm a certified PT Operator, but that doesn't mean I don't forget things. I wish there was a way to literally eat the pages and somehow all of the information that's on the pages would embed itself into my brain and never leave. Yeah... that'd be nice.

Oh, and I came across some lyrics that I haven't thought about in oh so long. I laughed aloud when I stumbled across them on my computer. I mean, granted, I wrote this earlier this year, so one would think that I couldn't forget about it that quickly... but so much has run through my head since early this year... it's a wonder I can remember my own name. Anyway... it's untitled, but I find the lyrics interesting. Not sure what sort of [artisitc] mood I was in on this one:

Looked out just the other day

Out my window pane

You

Couldn’t see me but I knew that you

Could feel my eyes on you

Do

You have need of my company

Despite the enemies

Who

Wouldn’t like to see us around

Making an awesome sound

We

Could light up the world today

Jump start the start of movement, we could

Build a yellow brick road to Oz

We are superstars

Verse is not gonna rhythm this time

Let’s live a hippie life

See

We could change up with each new day

Memphis to Baltimore

Yes

Fancy you like you an autumn breeze

Cancer, incurably

I

Have an organ that beats for you

Coffee, can I sip you

We

Could set all restraints to flame

Blast our sound throughout all creation

Sneak with the horse in the walls of Troy

We are superstars

I say we just do it

I say we just do it

I say we just do it

I’ll keep saying it ‘till we do it

(repeat)

Soft and sweet like a Krispie Cream, you.

Smart like NASA technology, you.

Magical like Gandolf the Grey, you

Timeless like all infinity… you.

Rhythmically, it's very interesting. I've yet to record it, but I think this will be my next project. I'll keep you posted.

Anywho... I think that's it for this blog. Nothing severely note-worthy has occurred since my last blog... wait... I haven't talked to Dwayne much over the last two days. He's out of town or something, and he doesn't have internet access, so it has drastically cut down on our ability to communicate. We can't call each other in a regular sense (via cell phone/telephone) because neither one of us can afford international charges. So we normally call each other using the MagicJack or Skype, both of which require the internet. So... I've been bummed out. I miss him. He has managed to call twice in the last 48 hours from his cell just to say a quick hello. But we can't talk long. On my last cell bill, I called him for three minutes and they charged me over 8 bucks. CRAZY, RIGHT? ugh.

I long for the beginning of 2010. So many new things will happen then. School starts at MTSU for me, and I can finally finish my degree in Audio Production. I'll be moving to Murfreesboro with a new job (if all goes as planned). I'm so ready for CHANGE. I'm bored with my life right now. Time for something new.

Love, Rohzi

Artistic revelation

MUSIC AND SUCH...

There is a shift taking place.

There comes a time when one becomes so fed up with something, that change becomes instant and inevitable. I had a revelation today: Change has to start within ME first before my external conditions ever will. I've been waiting and waiting to see changes happening around me and completely ignoring myself. Sure I talk a lot about changing myself... but do I ever actually do it? Saying it just isn't enough.

Today, I started on a new song. Well... it's not new. It's rather old. Probably over three years old. But today was my first time ever trying to record it. I started on it at around 2:45 p.m., knowing I would have to leave at 3:30 for work. And of course when 3:30 rolled around, I almost shed tears because I did not want to rip myself away from what I was doing.

Music... THIS is what I love. This is where it all is for me. And this past week, I've honestly been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to give it up and pursue something... easier. I've been trying to remind myself that I love this stuff. But when I stay away from actively recording anything, my doubts start to sink in, and I question if I was called to be artistic at all. So then I had to ask myself today: "Why have I been staying away from recording?"

Today was the first day in a LONG TIME where I recorded a song that I personally WANTED to record. A song that was just for the sake of making music. Not for a production team. Not for another artist. But just for ME. And it felt so good. Writing and recording without any placing any concrete "reason" behind doing it is the best feeling ever. I did it because I wanted to enjoy myself. And I think that's been the element I've been missing. I need to start writing and recording more for MYSELF. I've been so business-driven and trying to place some sort of "profitable potential" behind every song I spit out, and it has sucked the genuine art out of it.

I wrote a song for my boyfriend's birthday earlier this year. That was the last song I wrote where I actually put my heart and soul into it. And it was a fun and amazing experience. When I was writing it, the only thing I thought about was how much I love him and how much I wanted him to feel that love through my song. Heck, I even CRIED as I recorded some of the vocals. And there was no other thought put into it. I wasn't thinking about who I could possibly sell the song to later down the road. I wasn't thinking about how I could format the song to where it would have the best buying potential. I just wrote from the heart. And it came so naturally. And I ENJOYED IT.

I've got to get back to that. I really do. Recording has sort of started to become a chore for me, because I spend so much time trying to write songs that have "selling potential." It adds too much stress and gags my artistic flow. I didn't realize I was doing it until today. Now, I see why writing has been so hard for me lately. Now that doesn't mean that I can't consider selling a song once it's done... but I DON'T want to go into the beginning stages of writing a song and think to myself, "Okay... now how can I make this song sound as 'commercial' as possible?"

I've been trying to fight my artistic style for the longest, lol. My style ranges from subtle to completely Tonex-worthy. And I should just embrace it. So what if my songs don't sound like what's out now. Maybe that's what the world needs. I prayed today that the Lord would help me to better focus what I need to do with his gift to me, because today I realized that my mind has been ALL OVER the place. Indecisive to the tenth power. And that's why I can't finish a song. I have been thinking too hard when I create. In the middle of writing a song, my mind will start to ask all these stupid, random questions that discourage me from finishing anything:

"I mean... why am I writing this? What purpose will this serve later?"

"Should I write truthfully, or should I write something that I won't be too embarrassed to let my listeners hear?"

"Who would want to buy this song?"

"This is not commercial enough. This is just going to sit in my library and collect dust."

I've got to stop it. I need to find that artist in me who just doesn't give a care about how others will perceive my creativity. I used to spit out songs ON THE REGULAR when I was younger. And back then, the idea of actually SELLING a song or getting someone's approval wasn't even a thought in my head. I need to get back to that place.

I hate that I'm at work right now. I just want to go home and write to my heart's content and imagine that I'm writing for no one but God Himself. I'll let Him be my audience and I'll imagine him sitting on my bed, smiling and watching me operate in the gift he gave me...

(God can sit on a bed, right?) lol

I don't know... Music used to be my refuge from all the pains, struggles, and stresses of life. It used to be my literal escape. I don't know WHAT has happened. I don't want it to be an ADDED stressor anymore. I want it to be my refuge again.

Food for thought. And you know what... my blogs are going to start being a lot more music-oriented, I've decided. Not a day should go by when I have not worked on a song or at least expressed my artistic opinion about another artist, lol. I need to start treating myself like the artist that I am.

Love, Rohzi